Sunday, May 2, 2010

Requiem for Mother Earth

For the past two weeks I've lived under an oppressive cloud of depression.

This depression was triggered by unhappy circumstances in my personal life. The depression oozes on and over everything I see. It is an anesthetic to feeling anger, joy, pain. And so it serves a purpose. Yet, two weeks is a long time for me to not find coping mechanisms to renew my enthusiasm for living.

As a hospice nurse, I considered that the deaths of four of my patients inside a week's time might have taken a toll on my psyche. I understand the reality of the terminal status of my patients from day one when I meet them, yet I grow attached to them before they die. They teach me about the impermanence of our lives, even if we live to 105 years like one patient whose hand I held as she died.

Then I heard that April 2010 has gone on record for Portland, OR as having had the most days with rain ever. This I interpreted as more evidence of global climate change. No doubt, this contributed to my persistent downcast mood.

Yesterday, I considered another possible factor in this depression. I was shopping at a place on Alberta St. that sells "hippie" clothes, pipes, essential oils, and so on. On the counter was a basket of buttons. The one that caught my eye had some Indian images and the slogan "Honor Mother Earth." Right up my alley, and I considered buying it. But, as I held it in my hand, I looked up at the young woman behind the counter and asked her, "Do you think it's too late, with the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico?" She looked at the button, and as somberly as I tell someone her mother has died, she nodded and said, "I think it might be too late."

I think it might be too late.

I think it might be too late.

I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO FUCKING LATE!!

Having received this terminal diagnosis, the stages of grief have begun to wash over me in rapid sequence, wave upon filthy wave:

Denial: No! "They" can fix this. It's not as bad as "they" are saying.

Anger: Damn the greedy corporations! I would like to shoot every CEO in the head and turn off the oil supply!

Bargaining: If we can just stop this one disaster this time, I promise to stop driving a car or using anything oil-based. We'll band together and demand that our Earth stop being exploited. Everyone will find other ways to live, without demanding oil. Please?

Depression: See above.

Acceptance: This is it. The oceans are completely ruined. Life on earth as we know it is over.

"And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." No longer will we need to belabor the point of whether or not we humans have the capacity to ruin all the ecosystems on earth. We do.

Life as we know it is over with the disaster of British Petroleum's exploded oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. The well was under 5000 feet of water. The pressure from tapping into a "reserve" (notice the language of exploitation - it's a "reserve", just waiting for humans to use it) between 18,000 and 30,000 feet below the surface of the earth caused the safety valves to fail. Now we have, by some estimates, 200,000 gallons of oil flowing in to the water every day.

The oil is being picked up the the Gulf Stream, and is moving around Florida.

Can you see the implications?

Here are some sites with enough details to satisfy a mind demanding facts, and not just the ranting of a depressed, middle-aged woman.

"Size of Spill in Gulf of Mexico Is Larger than Thought" New York Times, April 28, 2010

"Gulf oil spill could eventually foul South Florida beaches" Miami-Dade Breaking News, May 2, 2010

"UF Expert: Spill may spread to east coast" The Gainesville Sun, May 1, 2010

"Oil spill approaches Louisiana coast" The Boston Globe, April 30, 2010

"It's Worse Than You Think" Daily Kos, May 2, 2010
(Disclaimer: I don't recognize Daily Kos as a news source per se)

The oil making its way around Florida
Can't remember from where I lifted this phot0

3 comments:

Tyler said...

So true and so sad. I can't stand seeing that even now there is no reaction. People just go about their daily lives.

I'm sorry you have been immersed in so much death lately. I hope for all our sakes that this isn't the end of our beautiful living planet.

Where is the revolution? Even now BP's top executives continue to exist. How is it fucking possible? Where are the millions strong angry mobs pursuing the Earth-destroyers to whatever part of this Earth they might attempt to flee to?

No refuge for planet destroyers on this critically injured planet!

Dade Cariaga said...

I am undergoing the same transition in my own way. In a way, it is easier to accept that it could already be too late.

But I will continue to live as if there is still hope... just in case. Just in case...

Mari Gold said...

Hey, Tyler and Dade

Thanks for stopping by and for your commiseration.

I don't know, Tyler, where ARE the masked anarchists who so valiantly pied Lierre Keith now? Why aren't they rushing the corporate offices of BP and doing something about these criminals? Or, why am I not doing so?

I know, that acceptance phase is liberating, huh Dade? And today, I'm back to bargaining: "If this isn't actually as bad as we all thought, I'll be a better activist, I'll, uh..." I hope I've overreacted.

Be good to yourselves.

Shusli/Rhonda